I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Blow job season was short but glorious.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize