Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
