If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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