Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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