its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
