When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
high people should be assigned attendants
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
