I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Randomize
