i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
