I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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