She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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