Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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