i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize