I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
