I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize