Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
