OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Can Purell be used as lube?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
