i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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