I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
