Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
