Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
