quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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