i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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