Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
