piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
