So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize