I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
