I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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