she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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