If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
