no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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