Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
