It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
