Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
