so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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