Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Mom said you looked used
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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