The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
