Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
