Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
