my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do herpes really smell.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
