i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
