Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
