Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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