So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize