He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
