You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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