The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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