if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Will exercising make me less horny?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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