She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a search helicopter?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
