So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize