So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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