I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
