im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
