There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
