Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
