Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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