So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
