Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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