When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
