Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
