Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
