if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
